Do you Believe that I love you?

Take 4 minutes to watch this clip. (click on the title)  It is Brennan Manning.  Our pastor played this on Sunday morning.  He introduced Brennan as a guy who became a christian, then an alcoholic, then a recovering alcoholic, in that order.  And he is old in years.  Hearing that I figured:  1. This guy sounds authentic, and 2. this guy has probably experienced what he is saying.  So I listened. We could have started and ended the service with just this.

In the clip Brennan says he thinks that at the end of the day God will ask us this question:  "Did you believe that I love you?" 

I heard this two days ago.  This question is in my head.  Yesterday I was so challenged by it that I de-throned my inner critic and judge (she is pretty mean to me) and replaced her with God - because if I believe that He loves me then I can trust Him.  He is fair and true and just.  And wise. And he loves me.

Today I was overwhelmed with a fear that plagues me...something I have no idea how to resolve.  I read scriptures, I scolded, I journaled, I tried inner healing hi-jinks on myself.  Still, fear.  Then I remembered this - Do you believe that I love you?  I sat there in my fear.  Here I am Lord, afraid.  A phrase from a contemplative activity came to me "It is the real me that the Lord loves."  He loves me just like this: afraid.  I can breathe.

God's love is transformative.  Not tongue lashing, rules, standards, judgements, requirements, frowning-with-hands-on-hips.  But love.  Listen to this clip.