On the weekend I participated in a forgiveness exercise. It always hits me right between the eyes how easy it is to say the words "I forgive you" but how hard it is to actually follow through.
The phrase in the Lord's prayer 'forgive us our trespasses' always gets me - since being sinned against does feel a lot like someone has trespassed on what is mine. And the translation 'forgive us our debts' also gets me, because when someone sins against me I feel like they owe me, whether it's an apology or restitution or something else.
I find it very helpful to pray a specific prayer of forgiveness, since by doing that I make sure I am actually forgiving, and not just solemnly saying saying the words but still holding on to parts. It goes like this:
_______ (their name) has trespassed against me.
She/he has ________________ (I make a list)
God you are a God of justice and compassion. I choose to trust you God to act justly on my behalf in the situations I have listed here and any that I have forgotten. I release _______ from all she/he owes me due to her/his sin against me. I forgive and cancel that debt I thought she/he owed me; including expecting realizations, admissions, apologies or repayment from her/him. I cancel every reason I have hung on to harbour resentment and hold regret in my thinking, my emotions, my body, my relationships and in my daily life. She/he owes me nothing now, and I trust you God to restore. I trust you God to deal with her/him yourself with justice and with mercy, according to your promises. Jesus forgive me my trespasses, as I forgive those who trespass against me.
I release _________ from all my judgements about her/him and against her/him as a result of my hurt, my anger and my own desire for justice. Jesus forgive me for being the judge when you alone are the only true judge. I renounce my judgements of _______ and my false right to be their judge. I am sorry for carrying this offense in my beliefs, my thinking, my other relationships and even with you. Forgive me for holding it in my heart, for agreeing with others and for anything I have said against her/him. I ask you Jesus for my own release from any reaping that has occurred in my own life as a result of my judgements, according to your word 'judge not, lest you yourself be judged', and 'you shall reap what you sow'.
Jesus I bless ________ to walk in your love and forgiveness. I bless her/his heart to serve and to love you. I bless the work of her/his hands. I ask you to be with her/him in love and mercy, bringing true freedom and healing to her/him in your time and in your way.
Now Lord I want to exchange my thoughts for your thoughts, and my own beliefs for your truth.
I thought ________ was ______________ and _____________.
But you see _________ was/is ___________ and ______________. Thank you Jesus. I now choose to agree with you and see _________ and speak of her/him in that way too.
Thank you for your faithfulness to me Jesus. I ask for your protection from the attack of the enemy on my life, my faith and my relationships. I ask all these things in and through your holy name Jesus, Amen.
______________ (my signature)
* the ideas for and parts of this prayer are (adapted) from prayers in Healing Your Financial Soul by David Hicks. http://www.healingyourfinancialsoul.com
Sounds easy? Not so much.
This prayer has got me thinking about whether or not I have an attitude of forgiveness in my life. Could I just be more forgiving over all, instead of needing to pray this prayer so often?
Do I think people owe me something? Do I have expectations that I expect people to meet? (and when they don't do I get ticked?)
Do I really trust God to carry out justice on my behalf? Do I know he has my back? Am I okay with leaving the defence of me to him?
Do I hold resentment or even just hold back from some people because of an interaction or two, or three, that didn't thrill me?
Do I agree with others in negative conversations about someone?
Do I think I have the right to judge people?
Do I make decisions (judgements) about someone's character or about a situation or decision they have made?
Do I ask God what he thinks about someone and about the way he sees them, before I speak about them to someone else?
Then yesterday afternoon I came across this verse in James 3:2 'We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.'
Perhaps I should start there.

